Who I Am Behind the Name
del Sur. This is where I grew up and where most of my memories come from. Before I was born,
my mom already had six kids four boys and two girls from her first husband. After her first
husband passed away, she met my dad. My dad also had four kids two boys and two girls from
his first wife before he met my mom. I also had a sister from my mom, but she died soon after
birth because she was weak. That is why I became my mom and dad’s only child together. Being
the only child of both my parents made me feel special, but sometimes it also made me feel
lonely because I didn’t have a full sibling to share everything with.
My mom’s name is Miguela Tapia Balios, and my dad’s name is Camid Paramata Boloto. Before
I was born, my dad worked at the MSU-Malabang Community High School he was assigned at
library. Sadly, my dad passed away from diabetes before I even started kindergarten. I remember
going with him to the hospital when I was little. I was too young to understand what was
happening, but I knew something was wrong. I never had the chance to grow up with my father.
Sometimes, when I saw other children with their fathers, playing with them or being carried on
their shoulders, I wondered what that must feel like. There were moments when I felt jealous, but
instead of feeling bitter, I used those moments to remind myself to be strong and love my mom
more, because she was the only parent I had left.
I started kindergarten at Tuboc Elementary School. I was excited because I was with my siblings
from my mom’s side. It made me happy to have them around, but soon after, I transferred to AlShadiq Islamic School for Grades 1, 2, and 3. Those times were not easy for me because most of
my siblings were no longer with us. Some had moved to Manila to live with their own families,
so our house felt emptier. When I was in Grades 1 to 3, my brother and I only had ₱3 in the
morning and ₱2 in the afternoon for snacks. That was all my mom could give us because money
was very tight. I used to feel jealous of my classmates who could buy pastries, or cold drinks
during recess, while I could only buy a single candy or a small piece of snack. But I learned to
appreciate even the small things. Whenever I had a chance to earn extra money, like selling coconuts during weekends, I would save it so I could buy bigger snacks. Picking coconuts under
the hot sun wasn’t easy, but I learned to be resourceful and hardworking at a young age.
When I was in Grade 3, my classmates bullied me. It was one of the hardest parts of my
childhood. They laughed at my bag and teased me because I didn’t have expensive things like
them. At that time, the suitcase-style bags were very popular, but my mom couldn’t afford them.
I tried to ignore their words, but deep inside, I felt embarrassed and sad. I would sometimes cry
in silence because I didn’t want my mom to see me sad and feel guilty that she couldn’t buy me a
new bag. After some time, I transferred back to Tuboc Elementary School when I reached Grade
4. But my struggles didn’t end there. I had to stop studying around the second quarter of Grade 4
because of some personal and family reasons. We had a small store at home then, and we also
took care of cows for other people. When those cows gave birth, we were given one calf as
payment, so we slowly started to own cows ourselves. But soon we had to sell all of our animals
because the landowner did not want us to keep cows tied to his land anymore. It was
heartbreaking because those animals were a source of food and income for our family. The next
year, I went back to school and repeated Grade 4 because I didn’t finish it the year before. I was
already twelve years old, and it was a little embarrassing to be older than most of my classmates,
but I tried to stay strong and focused on my studies.
In Grade 5, I met someone who changed my life Ainah Pili. She became my best friend, and I
see her as more than just a friend. She became my sister by heart. Whenever I was sad or when
someone bullied me, she was there to comfort me and defend me. I am very grateful that I met
her because she made my school life happier and easier.
In Grade 6, Ainah and I were classmates
again, and we also became friends with Johara, Raniah, Santaliah, Janikha, and more. We formed
a group, and we were very close until the end of the school year. Before we took the FEASE
exam at MSU, we promised each other that even if we ended up in different sections, we would
always remain friends. We told each other that we would never replace one another with new
friends.
But then the pandemic came. We were about to graduate when schools shut down, and we never
had a proper graduation ceremony. I felt sad because I had been waiting for that moment to
march on stage, wear a toga, and receive my certificate, but it didn’t happen. Still, I was proud
that I finished elementary school. When I started high school at MSU, I was very thankful
because I passed the entrance exam together with my friends. At first, we still used modules
because face-to-face classes were not allowed yet. When I reached Grade 8, things changed.
Slowly, our group broke apart. One by one, my friends started finding new circles until only
Ainah and I were left. Our promise seemed to be broken, but the bond between Ainah and me
became even stronger.
As the years went by, I started to notice more about my family situation. My mom never
attended school events from kindergarten until I graduated elementary and she never came to
PTCA meetings. I never asked her why because whenever I told her there was a meeting, she
would just say she was busy, even if she was just at home. I sometimes felt jealous of my
classmates who had their parents with them during school programs. To make myself feel better,
I would just borrow my classmates’ parents to stand as my guardian for a while. Even if my
mom was not there most of the time, I never hated her. I loved her very much and understood
that she had her own struggles too. As I grew older, I started to realize that parents have burdens
we often do not see as children. Maybe she was battling her own sadness or tiredness, and I just
did not know it.
When I entered high school, our life became a little better. We were given a piece of land to take
care of, and my brother who was working in Saudi Arabia started sending us money regularly.
There were three of us studying at that time me, one of my brothers, and my brother’s child who
also lived with us. My brother in Saudi paid for everything, from tuition to school supplies, and I
am very thankful to him. When I reached Grade 8, I started to get sick more often. There were
times I wanted to give up, but I reminded myself that I was studying not just for myself but also
for my family’s future, so I kept going. Each time I felt weak, I would think of my dreams to finish school, to get a good job, and to give my mom a comfortable life. Those thoughts gave me
strength.
In Grade 9, I slowly learned that some of my relatives on my dad’s side seemed to dislike me
because my mom was Christian. It hurt a lot, but I never felt ashamed of my mom’s religion. In
fact, I am proud to have Christian blood. My mom never raised us as Christians. She taught us to
be good Muslims to pray five times a day, to fast during Ramadan, and to follow all our
religious duties. The most painful thing I heard came from my dad’s sister. One day, when we
went somewhere, a woman asked my sister how many siblings they were and who I was. My
sister answered that they were only four siblings and that I was just their neighbor. That broke
my heart because I was family, yet I was treated like an outsider. Another painful memory was
hearing them say words (eh ka di anan kakuwa mapiya ka kuwa anan sa kala iyan e lalag makala)
that hurt me deeply. Those words stayed with me, but instead of letting them break me, I used
them as motivation to work harder. I told myself that one day, they will see me succeed and they
will regret looking down on me.
During our 4th quarter that year, my mom started feeling strange pains. Her skin would turn red
and itchy every 5 PM until she went to sleep. It happened for weeks, and we were very worried
because she never had allergies. We took her to a “taribolong” who said that she had stepped on
something made by a witch buried outside our house. After a few treatments, my mom felt better.
But soon after, she had a high blood pressure attack. I cried so much that night at 3 AM when we
had to rush her to Doctor Nasser’s hospital. I hugged her so tightly on the way because I was
afraid to lose her. Thank God, she was treated quickly and got better. That night made me realize
how precious life is, and how important it is to show love while we still can. After that, I tried to
be more caring and helpful to my mom.
In Grade 10, Ainah and I met new friends and formed a group we called “AFEHA.” They were
very kind and understanding, and they made my high school life happier. But as I grew older, life became more challenging. Even though we had a small store, our income was not enough
because most of it went to pay for our schooling. My brother who was in college had many
expenses, and since my brother in Saudi could not always send money right away, we sometimes
struggled to have enough food to eat. Sometimes, we would eat only once or twice a day just to
make sure we had something left for the next day. It was very difficult, but those struggles taught
me the value of every grain of rice and every peso we earned.
When I was in Grade 11, things got harder. Because my brother had to prioritize my brother who
was in college, our budget became smaller. Eventually, we had to close our small store. My mom,
my brother in college, and my nephew went to Manila to look for something to sell so they could
earn more. I was left alone at home. It was my first time being separated from my mom, and I
missed her so much that I got sick because of homesickness. I would sometimes cry at night
while praying, asking God to give me strength. After one month, my brother and my nephew
came back home, but my mom stayed in Manila to continue selling. That year was also the first
time I experienced Ramadan without my mom. It was so painful because there were days when
we had nothing to eat for iftar. I was very lucky to have Ainah because she would give us fish,
especially when her dad sold fish at the market. Thanks to her, we had something to eat during
fasting and during Eid Mubarak. When I heard the takbir prayers in the masjid, memories of my
mom came back, and it made me cry.
Those experiences made me realize how painful it is to be separated from a parent. I cannot
imagine what it feels like for those who have already lost their parents. I told myself that I will
never give up because I still have so many dreams to achieve. One of my biggest dreams is to
take my mom to Mecca for Hajj. No matter how hard life gets, I will fight for my dreams and my
family. I will do my best to make my brother proud because he has been like a father to us.
Without him and my mom, we wouldn’t be where we are now. Even if I hear negative things
from my dad’s relatives, I will not let them stop me. I will prove to them that they were wrong to
look down on us. One day, I will achieve my dreams and show everyone that I am capable and
strong. Looking back at everything I have gone through the poverty, the bullying, the heartbreak, the
separation from my mom I realize that these experiences shaped me into who I am today. They
taught me to be strong, patient, and hardworking. They taught me to appreciate every blessing,
no matter how small. I learned that family and true friends are the most important treasures we
can have. I also learned that even if life is hard, there is always hope as long as we do not give up.
As I look forward to the future, I see myself graduating from senior high school, going to college,
and pursuing a course that will allow me to help my family. I want to build a house for my mom
where she can rest peacefully without worrying about money. I want to help my brother so he
will no longer carry all the responsibilities by himself. I want to give back to the people who
helped me when I had nothing. I also want to inspire other young people who are going through
hardships to keep fighting for their dreams. Life may be full of pain, but it is also full of lessons
and opportunities. I am determined to keep going until I reach my goals.
BEST MOM EVER!
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